Age Just a Number

Have you heard that sentences before?
I heard it a lot on memes and it refer to relationship.
But, I don't want talk about relationship now.
I quote that to remind me that age maybe just a number, but as time goes by, our wisdom and our physic also change.

I made a video call today with my mom. usually I never notice about how old is she. we just talk over the phone and since she always cheerful, I always thought that she is quite young. compare to Mr. President or my neighbours , my parents quite young. and then, today it hit me. I saw wrinkles on her faces, white hair , etc. this make me realize that my parents also grow old like and by the time, they maybe leave us.

as a time goes by, I don't want to waste my time not to spend my life without my parents. because I never know when they will leave us or when I will leave them.

como quiero que me quiera.

There's a tongue twister in español about love:

Cómo quieres que te quiera

Si el que quiero no me quiera

No me quiere como quiero que me quiera.

It has deep meaning or sad meaning actually.
One sided love become my routine I think, so this words really have deep impact for me.
Some people said that I'm too picky that's why I'm single for too long. maybe I am picky, but it will be uncomfortable if someone beside me will not love me the way that I want.
Just because we want in relationship, I don't want it to be forced love.

someone asked me last week, what is my ideal type. I said I want someone whom gentle. and he asked to define what is gentle type. I said it's hard to describe, sometimes it's from the simple act or what he said. for example : just because someone did not say thank you to waitress, I will put him in red mark (hahahaha), it's really simple right. Or someone who will hold the door for me, it will be plus side. and My friend replied, even after he did all of those things, some of his girl friend said that he is not gentle type. From that, I think, gentle is not a standard but it's manner that have each criteria for each person. I live in field for too long, maybe my standard become simple.

entonces, como quiero que me quiera?
maybe someone who respect me, treat me as woman/female and someone with good manner. someone who will not embarrassed while walking or speak to me. and someone can put me in ease and never make me cry. and someone who can cure my insomniac.